Baby Watch 2008

The Virginia Baby Shower

First of all, so sorry that it has been so long since we posted anything.  I guess it is true what they say that not much happens in the 2nd trimester!  But, now things are starting to cook as we get ready for the arrival of this little miracle.  The nursery is put together (thanks to Allen’s handyman skills--something I never thought I’d be saying), and we are well on our way to bringing home baby!!!

We just had the most wonderful baby shower in Allen’s hometown in Virginia.  His cousin Roslyn, along with her sisters Donna, Gail, and his mom and sister threw an amazing event.  About 75 of Allen’s family and friends gathered at the former home of his Grandmother which is now a coffee house run by his cousin Jason.  And, can we say good food?  We’re talking ham biscuits, fried chicken, and 3 different kinds of cake (which you can see in the pictures).  And, we can’t forget Aunt Marion’s meatballs!!!

The event was extra special because his grandmother, who is 91, came and celebrated as you can also see in the pictures along with his Great Aunt Ardie.  And, so many other relatives were there like his Aunt Connie from Virginia Beach who is one special lady (pictured alone with Allen).  And, of course, Allen hammed it up with Roslyn and Donna in the pictures with his mom close by.  And, we couldn’t have an event without a picture of the two of us!  Pretty soon, it will be the 3 of us.  Hard to believe!!!

We got the most amazing gifts for little Quentin.  We think that he is going to be better dressed than his two daddies which is somewhat of a feat in itself.  He may be requiring more closet space than expected.

But, the most important part of the day was just being with friends and family.  It was so beautiful to have the full range of experiences...from our good friend Coy to Allen’s aunts and uncles, the day couldn’t have been more special.  Several times I teared up just looking around and feeling the love and connection of so many people who are there for our little boy who isn’t even born yet.  He is truly blessed to be born into such a family and I feel truly blessed to be a part of it too.

Posted by Stuart on 12/23 at 07:05 PM

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Well--It’s a BOY!

So, everyone thought we were having a girl - except me!  This week I went down to San Bernardino twice as Lorisha, our surrogate, had a regular doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and an ultrasound on Thursday.  Lorisha is doing very well and so is the baby - everything and everyone is perfect.  Lorisha really looks pregnant now.  She has a cute little baby bump.  We are 20 weeks and 6 days pregnant as of today.  I couldn’t believe it when the ultrasound professional told us it was a boy.  I was shocked and excited at the same time.  Stuart and I had thought of a name for a girl and “initially prepared everything in our heads” for a girl.  I was the only one that held out and from the beginning, and always said that we would have a little boy.  Stuart was in New York working this week, so when he got home, I told him we were having a girl - just so he could have “his” moment.  Shortly thereafter I told him it was a boy, which you could really see from the ultrasound!  Our son had his butt up and legs open wide, so we could see “him” well!  We are both so happy!  I am so excited that I couldn’t sleep last night.  Well, we are off to plan for a boy.  We have to decide on a name and now we can decorate the nursery with a boy in mind!

Posted by Allen on 10/12 at 12:17 PM

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Grandparents Make a Visit

This week we had Allen’s parents visit and it was wonderful.  We have tried to pack as much fun in as possible in between work.  We took them to Malibu where we had lunch at a little place called Neptune’s Net and then took pictures by the ocean.  One day, we had lunch at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel and then took a self-guided tour of Beverly Hills.  One evening we went to Dolce restaurant which is a celebrity “hotspot” with my adopted brother and mother, Gary and Irma.  They cooked some great food for us too! 

On the baby front, Lorisha had a doctor’s appointment this week but they didn’t do an ultrasound so we still don’t know for sure if we have a girl or a boy.  They’ll do an ultrasound on October 1st so we should know for sure by then.  Lorisha is feeling better now that it has cooled down from the 110 degree heatwave! 

Posted by Stuart on 09/15 at 02:32 PM

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Baby’s First Concert

Some of you may be asking why there is a picture of Beyonce on our baby blog.  Well, our baby is going to her first concert tonight thanks to our great surrogate, Lorisha.  You see, Lorisha is a HUGE Beyonce fan so when we found out that she was performing at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, we immediately bought her tickets.  She is going to the concert with one of her best friends and we are so excited that our baby will get to experience it as well!  Do a little dance, precious baby!

Now, for those of you interested in baby news, we are moving into our 15th week and Lorisha has a doctor’s appointment on the 6th.  It will be pretty routine and we probably won’t have an ultrasound then but we’ll keep you posted.  The next big milestone will be around 20 weeks when we will be able to see the gender of the baby. 

We stopped by and saw Lorisha on Friday and she is still a little sick but looks great.  She is starting to show a little bit which is fun for us.  We were a little early when we got to Lorisha’s work so we stopped by Target and shopped a bit.  Of course, we were drawn to the baby section.  It is hard to believe that in less than 6 months, we had better be ready for this little baby! 

We are spending the long holiday weekend in Palm Springs at my adopted brother Gary’s house.  It is beautiful here but very hot.  So, since Gary is always so wonderful to us, I decided he would make the blog this week so in addition to Beyonce, you get a pic of Gary. 

We hope you all have a wonderful week.

Posted by Stuart on 09/02 at 02:35 PM

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Tests Show a Perfect Baby….Girl?

While I was enjoying Dollywood with my brother, Monty, sister-in-law Barbara Leigh, and one of my nephews, Will, Allen and Lorisha were are Dr. Horenstein’s office having a BUN test to see if the baby was healthy.  First off, let me tell you about Dollywood.  It was fantastic.  I am the biggest Dolly fan there is and to be there with my family was wonderful.  7-year-old Will is a hoot and kept me on my toes.  It was a good test for when our little one will be that age.  Some of my favorite “Willism’s” include:  “By the way” before saying anything...."I’m going to need a moment” when explaining why there would be a delay in his actions....and “Are you being sarcastic, I don’t like sarcastic people” which of course was said to me many times on the trip!!!  It was wonderful and I can’t wait to do it again!  Yes, that’s me and Will with one of the park employees named “Old Coot”! 

Now, to the baby news I know you have all been waiting for.  First of all, we spared you another ultrasound picture even though we have several new ones from this week’s appointment.  Allen said that it was getting a little redundant so you’ll have to settle for the 2 pictures which show our friends Richard and Schuyler with their new 7-week baby girl, Someryn.  They let us “practice” with her and it was so wonderful.  I love them at this age but Allen was a little scared he might break her!

This week we had a very important test to determine if the baby was healthy, growing properly, and had any potential birth defects.  This test is very sophisticated and non-invasive which is a plus.  The good news is that Dr. Horenstein said that everything looks PERFECT.  I was able to see the video and our little bug was moving all around and looked just great.  And....drumroll please....while it is a little early, Dr. H. said that it looks like a girl to her.  We won’t know for sure for a few more weeks. 

So, it was a good week and we are so thrilled that our baby is doing well.  And, of course, our amazing surrogate Lorisha never complains and is such a joy to be with.  She has been so sick but is feeling a little better and hopefully will be doing great soon now that she is weaning off all of the medications she was taking to assist with the early stages of the pregnancy.  It is hard to believe that we are getting ready to enter our second trimester.  February will be here before we know it!!!! 

Posted by Stuart on 08/12 at 05:35 PM

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Our Ten Week Ultrasound

Today we had our 10-week ultrasound!  Stuart and I met Lorisha at Dr. Ringler’s office this morning and it was perfect timing as we had a chance to see our baby in motion!  Our baby was moving its tiny arms and legs like it was doing a dance for us as we watched it move around on the screen.  I was amazed to learn that our baby actually sleeps and wakes at this stage of life.  And what a heartbeat - it was strong as ever!  Dr. Ringler said it was the perfect little baby!  The baby must have overheard our conversation with Lorisha last month as she shared with us that she would love to come to Los Angeles to see Beyonce in concert Labor Day weekend.  Well, we surprised Lorisha today and gave her tickets for the concert.  I think the baby must like Beyonce too!  I guess that would explain the strong heartbeat, arms in the air, and legs moving “a mile a minute”!  This baby is starting early and will DEFINITELY be in shape when it pops its head into this world.  The next ultrasound, in October, will inform us whether we are having a boy or a girl!  Stay tuned…

Posted by Allen on 08/01 at 01:45 PM

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Our First Baby Gift

Today we are at 8 weeks pregnant and we just received our first baby gift from our friend Sue and our friend Kim who works at Hot Topic where the gift came from.  Sure makes me love Hot Topic! And, at my age, I don’t think I have ever been in one.  But, now, I highly recommend them!  It is the cutest little “onesy” I have seen.  I think that is what they call these things!

Sue and I have been friends for over 20 years.  She and her husband James live in Murfreesboro.  Sue and I have had many adventures over the years and she is one of my dearest friends.  We have been to Florida on Spring Break, Fraternity Parties, Las Vegas--and lots of support and love in between.  I am so happy that my child will have the opportunity to get to know her as she is one of the coolest women on the planet!

Thank you Sue and Kim for thinking of us.  The gift is wonderful and we’ll cherish it! 

That’s Sue in the picture!

Now, I cannot promise that I will post your picture if you send us a gift but it is a good way to try and make it on the blog!!!

Posted by Stuart on 07/17 at 11:21 AM

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We Have a Heartbeat!!!

Wow.  What a day!  Today we had our first ultrasound.  We are officially 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  Unfortunately, Allen had a meeting and could not be there but I met our wonderful surrogate, Lorisha, at Dr. Ringler’s office at 10 a.m. this morning.  I was pretty nervous and I think Lorisha was too.  This would be the day that we found out if we had a heartbeat.  Lorisha is such a trouper.  She has been so sick with morning, afternoon, and evening sickness!  Hopefully, that will subside as she begins to decrease the medication she has been taking for the pregnancy. 

It was very amazing.  Dr. Ringler put the ultrasound wand in place and on the small TV screen he showed us the sack that held our baby and then the baby itself.  Then, he turned up the volume and we were able to watch and hear the little heartbeat.  It was strong!  Dr. Ringler told us that the baby was measuring perfect for 7 weeks.

We are truly blessed and thankful.  We are celebrating today as our little one is there and healthy and strong.  We can’t wait to welcome him or her to our family in February! 

Big Thanks to Dr. Ringler (pictured in the Lab Coat), Anita, and all of the team at California Fertility Partners.  And, of course, to our amazing surrogate, Lorisha, who truly lights up our world!

Posted by Stuart on 07/10 at 12:40 PM

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Job Description

This was sent to us from Allen’s wonderful mom, Dulcenia Bell.  It was originally for “moms” but we felt it applied equally to dads too!  We love this picture of Dulcenia when she came and visited us on her birthday!  She is always laughing and having fun!

POSITION :
Dad, Dada, Daddy, Papa, Father, Papi

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND
COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Posted by Stuart on 06/27 at 04:24 PM

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We Are Pregnant!!!

On Monday, June 18 we found out that we were pregnant.  Lorisha had called Allen with the news who then called Stuart who had just landed at his NY office.  Everyone was happy and a little stunned. 

Calls went out to family and friends to let them know the good news.  Our next hurdle would be the first ultrasound in a few weeks. 

Our family was off to a great start.  We know so many friends that have taken longer to achieve their pregnancy so we feel very blessed that ours took on the first attempt. 

You may wonder why we included this picture.  It was taken last summer in Athens, Greece.  We have been very blessed to travel all over the world together but know that with the baby, we’ll be charting a potential new course—like Rosie’s cruise instead of Atlantis.  And, we figure it may be the last time we look this good…or should we say the last time Stuart looks this good as Allen will never age…not even with a baby! 

Posted by Stuart on 06/18 at 07:13 PM

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Meet Our Embryo

The day after they retrieved the eggs from the donor, the embryologist, Dr. Bronte Stone, called to let us know that 9 had fertilized.  They would grow for 4 more days and hopefully develop into “Blastocysts” which are 100 cell embryos—the best for implanting and achieving pregnancy. 

So, on a Friday morning, we got in the car to head to Santa Monica where the clinic is located.  We were both nervous and excited.  In the lobby, we greeted Lorisha and her friend Sally who had driven her in for the transfer of the embryo.

This was an amazing experience.  We were allowed in the room with Lorisha, the nurse and the doctor.  They wheeled in what looked like a baby incubator which held our future—our perfect embryo.  We got to say our first hello by looking through the microscope at this bundle of potential. 

The doctor was thrilled with the quality of the embryo and the quality of Lorisha’s…well, let’s just say everything inside looked great! 

We watched on the ultrasound machine as he implanted the embryo into Lorisha.  We saw it shine like a small star in a crowded galaxy. 

Then, it was over.  Machines rolled out and lights went up and it was back to life as normal.  The doctor told us they would know in 10 days if we were pregnant. 

We took Lorisha and Sally across the street for Mexican food before they headed back home.  Now, all there was left to do was wait! 

Posted by Stuart on 06/15 at 06:52 PM

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Baby Steps

We decided to have a baby using a surrogate and an egg donor.  For some of you, this may be entirely new so we’ll try to help explain things. 

Stuart is one of the owners of a company that assists clients with the process and surrogacy and egg donation (http://www.growinggenerations.com and http://www.fertilityfutures.com).  They have been doing this for 11 years and have helped close to 1,000 clients from around the world.

So, they found us an amazing surrogate, Lorisha, who is a young mom that wanted to help a couple create their family.  In the picture, Lorisha is sitting and our wonderful case manager, Vanessa, is standing.  Then, we selected an egg donor who is anonymous but we have pictures and video. 

The surrogate and the egg donor take medications to undergo the IVF (in vitro fertilization process) at a clinic (http://www.lainfertility.com).  They perform a surgical procedure to retrieve the eggs, usually harvesting 10-20 for potential fertilization.  A woman is born with close to 500,000 eggs so the few we take do not harm her future for her own childbearing. 

Then, we fertilize them with one or both of our sperm.  Hopefully, we will be blessed with some embryos!

The old saying of “it takes a village” is so true.  We have an amazing medical team headed by Dr. Guy Ringler, our surrogate Lorisha, our egg donor, our surrogacy and egg donation agency, our attorneys at National Fertility Law Center, and our psychologist Dr. Kim Bergman.

If all works out, this team of amazing and dedicated people will help us realize our dream—to become parents!

Posted by Stuart on 03/02 at 06:35 PM

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How It All Began

Allen Bell and Stuart Miller met in 2003 while vacationing in Puerto Vallarta.  Depending on which one you ask, you will get a different story about how their relationship started.  But, one thing they will agree on is that it was love at first…or a close second sight.  From the start, they knew that they had a connection that was special.  By the second day, they were already talking about a life together—and one that would include children.

Posted by Stuart on 03/01 at 07:29 PM

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